


Not Alone

by rinabina



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi - Fandom, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Last Jedi
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Visions, Innocent touching, Redeemed Ben Solo, They love each other, but not that innocent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-05 23:10:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13398261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinabina/pseuds/rinabina
Summary: Kylo Ren could no sooner destroy her, than he was able to destroy his own Uncle. She was calling to him, somewhere out there in the stars, like a siren.  As hard as he tried, he could not refuse her, and she was luring him further and further away from all that he had ever known.Rey knew he would find her, just as strongly as she knew that his ember would soon burn a hole through her carefully placed guards.  She could not fight him forever, and a large part of her wanted nothing more than to surrender.A war spent apart, shared only through Force bonds.





	1. Prologue

**Ben**

After Crait, the only thing keeping Kylo Ren alive, was his reputation.

It was Snoke’s last parting gift; the blessing of his forged notoriety.  Despite all that had happened, and all he had been through, he was still the masked, wild boy, rippling with power and authority.  So feared was Kylo Ren, that he could lead an entire revolution while barely able to hang onto his own sanity.

His fists ached from the strain of clenching them; around his own fingers, around the force, around his blade.  He was blindly strangling himself through the war, destroying anything in his pathway to keep his foothold on his power.

Hux had called him ‘ _unhinged’_ and he wasn’t wrong.

The previous day, he’d swept an entire line of troopers to their deaths in the hangar merely because one of them had failed formation.  Afterwards, he had collapsed on himself in his own quarters, overcome with shame and conflict.

He felt the twitch under his left eye.  It plagued him at all hours of the day, reminding him of the precarious and fragile state of his mind.  

He slammed his fist into the lift’s main panel, taking it up to the command center of his destroyer.

After all, he was supposed to be finding her.  The entire First Order was meant to retrieve her.

 _Her_.

Rey of Jakku.  The scavenger.  The fledgling Jedi.  The ‘last’ Jedi.

The lift doors hissed open and he stepped out onto the bridge, cape billowing at his back.  The cadets all looked fiercely at their screens, more inclined to look uselessly busy than to get caught doing nothing and risk death by the Supreme Leader.  He spoke to no one, and the generals on the bridge fled to the rear of the room, hiding behind their consoles and screens, blindly punching buttons and flipping switches.

A vast grey planet loomed through the transparasteel viewport before him.  Swirls of clouds and atmosphere undulated like waves, far too fast to be made of breathable air.  He looked over his shoulder to the nearest cadet and demanded an explanation.

“It’s a gas planet, my lord,” the woman said, quickly.  “Our sensors detect no land mass below the clouds.  The computers have determined it is impossible to sustain humanoid life.”

Of course.  The planet was empty, just like all of the others; lifeless, useless, meaningless.  He knew she wasn’t here.  He had known all along, and he would continue to lead the Order along from planet to planet, each one more fruitless than the rest.

Rey of Jakku would not be found so easily.  Rey of the Light would not yield to Kylo Ren.

Only for Ben Solo would the Jedi reveal herself.  Yet, with each outburst, each wisp of life flitting through his clenched fingers, Kylo Ren was shredded further and further into nothing.  He was a husk now, a burnt shell of the greatness he once was.  He held up the facade, however, as heavy as it was.  It was his only protection, it was the only way that he could truly protect her…

_Rey of the Light._

Kylo Ren could no sooner destroy her, than he was able to destroy his own Uncle. She was calling to him, somewhere out there in the stars, like a siren.  As hard as he tried, he could not refuse her, and she was luring him further and further away from all that he had ever known.

Only Rey had reached Ben Solo, and only Rey was keeping him alive now.

Ben’s hands shook and he clasped them behind his back.  Her spark lingered just outside his mind, behind him somewhere in the opposite direction of where his fleet was headed.  He knew nothing other than that she was alive, and that she was still trying to shut him out.  Yet she glimmered a galaxy away, blinding his mind with the sting of hope, the burn of the Light.

“Send down a probe,” he said at last, watching the young cadet absorb his words, daring her to argue.

She nodded.  “Yes my lord.”

He would buy Rey every second that he could.  And he would find her.

 

***

 

**Rey**

It didn’t take long before Rey found herself missing the mornings on Ahch-To.

She had never been in a place that had resonated to deeply within her.  The very ground seemed to sing in her veins, fueling her very being with life and hope.  She had only been blessed with days on the water planet, but she ached for more.

The stone huts held no comfort, but the shale-top mountains had given her peace and purpose.  Luke Skywalker’s face still flickered vividly inside her memory, as did his words and his lessons.  Like Ahch-To, she had barely known him long enough to call him anything more than an acquaintance, but she supposed he would be the only Jedi Master she would ever know.

The _Millennium Falcon_ shuddered under her feet and she peered curiously through the corridor to the cockpit.  Aside from a frustrated _whuff_ , Chewbacca didn’t appear to be alarmed.  She settled back into the bench of the common area.  

This inherited ship was as good as her home now, even if it offered little comfort.  The bunks were serviceable, the facilities were old but functioning and there were plenty of rations on board.  She had her friends, the droids, and Chewie.

Yet this ship was not hers, it did not belong to her.  She was a guest.

The Skywalker saber was before her, littering the old-fashioned game table with all its insides.  On one side, the fractured Kyber crystal flickered weakly, freed from it’s fascenings.  On the other, the interior pieces were organized into neat piles.  It had taken her weeks to gather the courage to disassemble it.  It felt _wrong_ to do such a thing.

When she stared at it, she felt more lost than ever; wedged between a powerful Force family, and her own unknown heritage.  Who was she to rebuild this saber?  If Ben Solo did not deserve it, she certainly did not.

With a sigh, she turned away and looked towards one of the nearest viewports.  The flicker of hyperspace was all she could see.  They’d been traveling for what felt like days, on the way back from another scouting run.  Finn was asleep in a bunk down the hall.  It was the first time she’d been alone in days and she had started to dread it.

Ben’s presence lingered out of reach.  She feared the day when her surroundings faded to nothing and only he remained.  It was hard enough to forget his face the last time they’d seen each other.  He still tried to reach out to her, to _find_ her.  It took practically all of her strength to shut him out, even as his Force presence burned like an ember in the dark place in her mind reserved just for him.  In that dark place, she felt their bond hum with a horrible sense of finality.  

Not long ago, that realization would have pleased her, even excited her.  She had nearly succeeded in turning him, felt the goodness in his soul as he watched her with those dark, sad eyes.  Under the surface something deeper had formed.  It happened as they had fought back to back, when she had felt his strong hands on her, at the touch of their skin.

No one could ever know how deeply she had fallen; into the darkness, into Ben Solo, outside of herself.  Only Ben.

Kylo Ren.

Whatever he was now.

She knew he would find her, just as strongly as she knew that his ember would soon burn a hole through her carefully placed guards.  She could not fight him forever, and a large part of her wanted nothing more than to surrender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome. Please enjoy my shameless fic about how Ben and Rey love each other very very much. I have a lot of feelings and they needed some place to go. Thank you to my darling [NoBaggage](http://archiveofourown.org/users/NoBaggage/pseuds/NoBaggage) for the encouragement to post this...literally right now.
> 
> Stay tuned for more!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Ben Solo. Tortured sad boy.

**Chapter 2 - Ben**

He felt it suddenly as he sank down onto a chair in his quarters.  That hollow silence that seemed to consume his world.  A feeling of being in two places at once and nowhere at the same time.  His skin tingled, surging with power under his clothes; fingertips practically bursting with it.

Deep down he knew where he was going, knew whom he was with.  This time he didn’t fight the low thrum of relief in his stomach, even though he didn’t deserve it.

He did not want the torment bouncing around in his head with the rest of it.  He did not want to see her beautiful face, and her wide contemplating eyes.  He did not want to hear the seductive reason in her voice or feel the command of her very presence next to him, pulling him slowly towards the light.

And yet…

He appeared gradually beside her, no longer sitting in his quarters, but rather sitting on her mattress.  He could feel the bare thing under his legs, as if it were real.  Rey lay beside him with her eyes closed and chest falling deeply.  She was asleep, eyelashes flitting as her eyes beheld the dream in her head.

Ben clenched his fists in his lap, leather creaking with strain.  His fingertips itched with an urge to reach for her.  To sweep a stray hair off her forehead or press the tip of his finger to the rosy curve of her cheek just to make sure she was real.  Such delicate gestures were not of the likes of Kylo Ren.  He did not  _ caress _ , he strangled.  He did not  _ touch _ , he took.

She had refused him more than once, yet he yearned to ask her the same question again, and again, and  _ again _ .

_ Join me. _

Rey did not flinch when she woke.  Rather, her eyes slid open wordlessly.  They widened, then focused, and he saw the tell-tale quiver of her chin as she pursed her lips.

“Why?” she said, jaw clenched and eyes shining with tears.

Ben merely shook his head.

“I don’t want you here.”

He swallowed.  “You think I want to be here?”  He almost let himself believe it.

“Well one of us must,” Rey snapped.

Yes.  One of them must.

Ben stared down at his balled fists.  “It’s been a long time.”

Rey merely watched him, arms clasped tightly over her stomach with the threadbare blanket clinging to her body.  It had been nearly three months since their throne room alliance and the death of his Master.  Three, horrible, miserable months since she’d closed the  _ Millennium Falcon _ ’s hatch in his face.

War was blazing all around them, in every corner of the galaxy. They each had their parts to play with little time for quiet and reflection. The peaceful moments of their early connections were long gone.  His sleepless days and nights of scouring the galaxy for her had ended, even though they were merely an act to keep her hidden.  His reputation had weakened as the word of his failure to retrieve the Jedi spread through the Order. He pushed it out of his mind.  His reputation mattered little to him.  Mostly, he wondered where she was, and if she was safe...  If, by some grace of the Force, she would return to him.

Something changed in her face as she took him in.  For an instant, the harsh, angry lines painting her features relented into something kinder and softer.  It was a look far gentler than anything that had met  _ Kylo Ren _ in the past weeks. He nearly had to look away.

“You’re thin,” she said quietly.  “Are you unwell?”

Ben grimaced. The sweetness of her face disappeared, turning once more into her angry mask as he said, “Why don’t you answer that for yourself?”

She hissed and turned her face away, staring at whatever distant wall was beside her.  

“Where are you?” he tried, gently.

“As if I’d tell _ you _ , Supreme Leader.”  She spat the words into her pillow like poison.

He watched her still, undeterred.  Her face, however angry was a small relief, and it brought him more peace than he’d felt in three months.  Now and again he could feel her presence across their connection; a tiny, bright flicker in the blackness of his mind.  Emotions seemed to float to him from across the stars.  Fear, anger, happiness.  Seeing her in the flesh was nearly too much to comprehend.  Still, he ached for one small thing.  “You haven’t said it yet.”

At this, she turned her face and shoved all of her anger and hatred into him.  That too was a pleasure.  

“Said what?”

“My name.”

“And what  _ is _ your name, Supreme Leader?”

Ben pressed a hand to the side of her mattress and leaned closer.  His shadow, while a phantom one, covered whatever dim lights were shining in her quarters.  The broad shape of his chest shrouded her face in darkness.  “You’re the only one who knows,” he said.  “You’re the only one who cares.”

“There’s little room for change there,” she said.  “You’ve killed everyone who knew anything about who you were.”

“ _ Say it _ .”  He needed it desperately and he would have it before their connection was severed.

Rey’s eyes narrowed defiantly.

“ _ Say. It. _ ”  His voice was sharp and fierce.  It cut through the space between them, violent and unrelenting.

“Why should I please you?” she shot back.

“Because I  _ want _ it,” he said through clenched teeth.  “Because I’m more monster than man right now.”

Rey sat up on her elbows.  He sat back to give her space, yet they were close, far closer than they’d been for a long time.  “And you expect me to offer you comfort?  Friendship?  For what purpose? Because you overpower me?  Because you’ll choke the life out of me if I don’t?”

Ben turned his face away, hair swinging into his eyes.  He was seeing red and shaking with the effort of keeping it all in.  He would not do this in front of her.  He would not lose himself.  Not for Rey.

Rey of the Light.

“You are the only one,” he said, instead.  His voice shook.

She blinked at him.

“I let you in, and no one else.  For some stupid reason, I trust you.”  

With wide, shining eyes she watched him.  A tear slipped over her eyelid and down her cheek.  He turned to watch it fall but she scrubbed it away.   

Her tears reminded Ben of the night he murdered Snoke, of the battle they had raged in its aftermath. She had been light as a feather, a tiny little bid at his back.  Her saber had moved swiftly, crackling against the smokey air.  They had been pure Force magic, a cyclone of power and finesse.

Lethal.

Perfect.

He had longed for the same feeling every cycle since.

“Ben,” Rey whispered, sitting up fully.  

He thought he would die from the sound of it.

“ _ Ben _ ,” she said once more.  “Won’t you come to the light?”

He could feel the warmth from her skin on his face as he spoke.  “You’re so convinced we're not fighting the same fight?”

Her eyelashes fluttered over her cheek.  “What other evidence do I have?”

“You’ve see my mind and my heart.  You know.”

She shook her head. “With you, I never know anything.”

He growled and leaned closer. “Don’t you think it’s strange that The Resistance has had little First Order opposition over the last few months?”

“I assumed…”

His eyebrows raised expectantly. 

“I assumed there were more important things your people were dealing with.”

“More important things than hunting down the Last Jedi?”

Rey’s throat bobbed as she swallowed. “That was you?”

“It wasn’t Hux.”

“Why?”

He realized in that moment how lovely she was, face swollen from sleep, eyes wide and bright, hair mussed from her pillow. He let out a painful breath before he said, “I don’t like to share.”

She reached forward to touch his cheek and he flinched at the unexpected sensation.  Brave Rey, reaching for what she wanted and what he didn’t know he needed. Ben had almost forgotten what she was like up close.  Her eyes followed her fingers as the moved over the taut skin of his cheek.  One finger pressed to the hard line of his scar and his eyes fell closed.

“Rey of the light,” he murmured, voice too low to do anything else but hum in the silence around them. Without thinking, he turned into the touch - pressed his lips into the flesh of her palm. It wasn’t meant to be a kiss, but it was still more intimate than anything they’d shared.

Rey gasped and her hand froze.  For one terrible moment, he watched the look of horror on her face at what he’d done - what  _ she _ had done. Before either could speak, everything vanished and he was alone in his room.  The rhythmic humming of the engines and air circulation of the destroyer deafened his senses.

The warmth of her fingers still burned his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this story, he is known as Ben.
> 
> I will transition between Ben and Rey for each chapter. Stay tuned for our favorite strong girl and all of her feelings!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please welcome Rey, our Strong Heroine who Doesn't Really Need A Man but Deserves Ben Solo.

**Chapter 3 - Rey**

Blistering anger seized her like hot coals in her stomach.  It sprung from her body like erupting flames and burned the back of her throat.  Rey stumbled over her own feet, toe skidding over the worn stone walkway. The passageway was mostly deserted, apart from the various mechanics and droids rushing here and there. She backed herself against the nearest clear section of wall, between a generator and a moisture purifier.  The wall was concrete; cool and solid against her back.  She pressed her palms flat to its surface.

Ben was there, prodding the back of her mind like an errant thought she couldn’t shake.  She couldn’t see him, but she felt him.  Her world faded into mist, until she was somewhere in between, in a place empty of air and sound.  

He materialized across from her, nearly a mirror image of herself - hands braced against a wall with his head hanging between his arms.  His back was rigid in his black robes.  The only indication that he was aware of her arrival was the slow balling of his fists.

“Get out,” he hissed.  She didn’t so much hear him, as  _ feel _ him.

“I don’t know how,” she admitted.  The concrete was still cool against her fingertips, grounding her to her real world, to the Resistance base.

Ben whirled on her, cloak swirling around his shoulders in an invisible wind.  “I don’t want you here.”

Rey narrowed her eyes.  “I think you do.”  He curled his lips at her sentiment.  “You’re losing yourself, aren’t you?”

He looked as thin and conflicted as before.  How long had it been? Another month?  There were dark purple rings under his eyes and his normally pale face was ashen.  He was exhausted.

“You shouldn’t have to see this.”

She pushed herself off the wall with one hand and took a step closer.  “I could help you.”

Ben’s dark eyes narrowed, lasering to hers so fiercely she couldn’t help the breath that escaped her lips.

“ _ You _ ?  Untrained as you are.”

Rey froze, one hand still on the concrete.

“What makes you think  _ you _ could help me?”

She had seen him angry before.  She had watched the way he threw his head back, like a sand lizard before striking.  His presence was tall and broad, strong enough to act as his own army, leaving everyone cowering at his feet.  But that wasn’t what he was now.  His shoulders were hunched and his hands shook.  He was a shell of himself.  Rey stepped away from the wall fully and left the Resistance base behind.  She walked into his space and took in the scent of ozone, fire and dried blood off of him.  He had it smeared over one glove and across the hilt of his saber.

_ Oh Ben,  _ she thought.   _ What horrors have you seen? _

“I am the only one you have left,” Rey said to him.  

Ben’s eyes widened and he stepped back, away from her.  

Another step.  “I may be untrained in the ways of the Force, but I am not weak.  I know you.  As you know me.”

He was backed against the wall now, hands flat, as hers had been.  She stopped when they were toe to toe.  The anger boiling in her gut had calmed to a simmer.  Fear clung to the bond now, like icy fingers.  

They had been apart for so long, she could only imagine how far outside of himself he had fallen.  She outstretched a hand and laid it flat on his chest.  

His wool cloak was rough on her palm, the fibers catching on her calloused skin.  But she felt his heart, beating solid and true.  It thundered under her touch.  

His mouth tightened in a wince and he turned his head away, as if awaiting impact.  Rey stood still and pressed into him.  She tried giving him some of the light she felt; imagined it flowing through her fingers and across his body, like wisps of fog.  Seeing him had given her hope, and filled a void that she didn’t know had emptied since they had last parted.  

Despite all that had happened, he was a companion to her.  They had shared something so deep, it could not be erased.  What that meant, she didn’t yet know, but it was there, humming gently in the back of her mind.

And in her heart.

Rey’s eyes had fallen closed, and she opened them.

Ben was watching her.  His face had become calm and open.

“What did you do?” he asked.  

She blinked at him.  “I...I pushed some of the light into you.  To calm you.”  Embarrassment flooded her body and she felt her face heat.  She pulled her hand away but he was faster, grasping her wrist and holding it in place.  He forced her palm harder into his chest.  

She expected his grip to be painful, to feel her bones squeezing together, but he was gentle.  Warm.  She realized he had removed one of his gloves.  It was discarded at his feet.

“Are you still so certain that we are on opposite sides?” he asked.

She flinched at the question.  It wasn’t what she was expecting.  “Aren’t we?”

“You don’t know anything.”

Rey scowled.  “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

“Why are you still here for me?” he asked, without pause.  His head fell to the side as he studied her.  “You refused me.  You...shut me out.  Why do you come?”

Visions of Snoke’s throne room crowded her mind in blinding red.  The way they’d fought together - like two sides of the same blade.  He had been there, in her mind, as a solid presence.  An equal.  They had slain an entire room together, then he had offered her an entire galaxy.

“You asked me to abandon every being that had ever been kind to me.  All of my friends, the only family I’d ever known.  How was I to leave all of them for you?  For  _ one _ person in a galaxy filled with millions?”

Ben’s fingers shifted on her wrist, sliding further up her arm.  Softly.  Gently.  Gooseflesh broke over her skin.  “Selfless.  The way of the Jedi.”

“It doesn’t matter what happened that night.  We are still connected.  We are...bonded,” she continued.  “I still want happiness for you.”

By now, the anger had disappeared inside her.  She felt cool, and calm.  Ben’s eyes were dark and sparkling in the low light of their connection. They watched each other in the silence.

“Happiness,” he released a disbelieving breath.  She felt the rumble of his voice under her fingers.  “You might want to find something more attainable.  But thank you.”  She sucked in a shallow breath and her eyes snapped to his.  It was the kindest thing that he’d ever offered her.  

Ben lifted her wrist from his chest and brought it to his lips.  She fought the urge to pull away that seemed to tug at the back of her throat.  His lips were red hot against the sensitive skin, but soft.  _ So soft. _  She felt the prickle of the stubble around his mouth.  She curled her fingers around his jaw helplessly, wanting to make sure this was real, that  _ he _ was real.  Not some illusion played against her.

Her eyes fluttered closed as his lips shifted and moved to another patch of skin, but when she opened her eyes again, he was gone.  She had moved across the passageway in the Resistance base, and her hand was pressed against the wall, as though she were reaching through it.  She drew it back and held her wrist to her face.  It was pink and scratched from his caress.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who popped in to read the first chapters! I hope you all enjoy and continue to follow along! This story is meant to be 10 chapters. I'll post two a week; one for Ben, one for Rey. I'll see all of you next week for Ben's next chapter!
> 
> I'd love to hear from you, if you feel like leaving a review! Thank you!
> 
> Also, side note: I think Adam Driver is killing me. Bye.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Solo men like 'em feisty.

**Chapter 4 - Ben**

Ben found her months later, in the midst of a jungle somewhere. Or, so it would seem.  It was all guesswork.  Her skin was bright and dewy from humidity, her hair damp with sweat at her neck. Her face flickered in the low light of a campfire. She looked utterly defeated and spent, yet her saber blazed in the surrounding darkness.  She moved from one position to the next, arms moving with precision and eyes narrowed in concentration.  The ice blue blade whizzed and snapped the air, striking true to its intended target point.  

In the momentary silence, he watched her and found himself wishing that he could see her in person; smell the sweat off her skin and feel the dampness on his own. He wanted to sense the Force billowing around her as she moved. He could barely feel it here; a bare whisper of power when he wanted to be consumed by it. He wanted to hear the roar in his ears. 

Rey broke position to reset and her eyes lifted to Ben. He noticed she’d been crying. Even still, her face faltered in relief at the sight of him. He knew the feeling well. 

“Are you alone?” He asked quietly, not stupid enough to risk exposure for either of them. 

Rey’s eyes did not leave his as she twisted the blade around in her wrist.  He wondered if it was supposed to keep him away.  “For now,” she said. 

His feet padded over unknown earth until was in her space.  Their feet fit together, like a practiced dance.  She let her head fall back as she watched him.  Desire seemed to spark from the tip of his gloved fingers.  He allowed himself to lift one hand to catch a tear on her cheek.

“Are you all right?”

Rey pursed her lips together and turned away from his touch. 

“Rey.”

When she turned around her eyes sparked with anger in the firelight.  “How  _ dare _ you ask that,” she spat.  

He kept his voice soft. “Where are you?”

“You know I won’t tell you.”

Ben kept where he was, watching her quietly and easing calm into the space they shared, as she had once done for him. “Try,” he urged. 

Rey’s saber hissed as she extinguished it.  She set her jaw and stepped into him.  “A village - destroyed,” she snarled, gesturing behind her, into the darkness he could not see. “Boys and girls of merely four seasons ripped from their homes with nothing. No one but burnt corpses in their beds.” At last she turned back towards him. “How could you?”

He’d seen the report, he remembered now. The jungle world of Fraarus.  Too far from their current location to make a fuss tonight.  “They were First Order defectors,” he said, clinically.

“ _ Children, _ ” she hissed.

“We had to send a message.  If our forces desert us, then we lose.”

She braced her hand on his chest and shoved.  “Then you  _ lose _ .”

Ben blinked as she stepped away.  “I wasn’t there,” he offered, stupidly, selfishly.  As though his words would fix the hurt his men had caused her - and the universe.  He stepped towards her.

Rey let him.  “You think that’s what matters here?”

“If your referring to my grand plan, then yes.”

She froze at the whisper of real information.  It was more than he’d ever revealed.  “Your grand plan?”

“I told you I had one.  And yet, you insist I am evil.”

She groaned and rolled her head back and forth on her shoulders. “I don’t know what to feel now. I’m exhausted.”  Her saber hummed to life again as she turned away to set her feet in another formation.

He watched her as she cycled through once more, noting the sturdy plant of her feet, the regimented straight lines of her elbow.  Again his fingers itched at his side. 

“You should learn another formation,” he said.

Rey glared at him over her shoulder.  “This was the only one Master Luke taught me.”

He outstretched his hands.  “I could teach you more.”

She laughed.  “You?”

Ben looked around haughtily and put his hands on his hips.  “Unless you know someone else who is proficient in lightsaber combat.  As far as I know, I’m your only option.”

She cursed under her breath and marched towards him.  “I’m supposed to spar sabers with my enemy? With the  _ Supreme Leader _ of the First Order?  You think that’s a good idea?”

Hurt and anger flared inside Ben’s chest.  His hand traveled to his blade automatically.  “You still think I want to kill you?”

“If given the chance, I think you probably should.”

“ _ Should _ ?”

They were toe to toe once more.  Rey snarled up at him.  “The First Order would have me killed.”

“The Supreme Leader would not,” he barked.  He hadn’t yet admitted it out loud.  The truth seemed to choke him, and he grit his teeth against it.  “The Supreme Leader would like you alive, very much.”

Her face faltered, like a flicker of light.  The sound of her blade humming was the only sound between them.  

“Ben…”

“Let me teach you,” he begged, leaning close.  He could see the sweat on the tips of her eyelashes, the chapped skin on her parted lips.  He tilted his head to one side.

He felt the spark of defiance through the Force before she spoke.  “No more needless killing.”  She hadn’t stepped away.  

Ben shook his head.  “You know I can’t promise that.”

“What of your master plan? Where is Kylo Ren hiding?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Give me something,” she demanded, jaw tight.

“Something.”  Their voices were mere murmurs.

“To trust you.  Show me that this is ending somewhere.”

He let his eyes fall closed.  He could feel the warmth of her skin on his face, the proud thundering of her heart in the air between them.   _ Something _ .  He didn’t open his eyes as he leaned forward.  He knew every inch of her, had memorized every curve and smooth line.  He could sense her with the Force, bright and alive and pure.  His lips found the delicate skin under her ear, and his nose slid into the silky strands of her hair.  Ben pressed a kiss to her skin and shoved the confusing ball of emotions in his chest against her.  

He felt them accepted, felt his  _ touch _ accepted.  Rey’s hand ghosted up the side of his neck, into his hair.  Acknowledgement, acceptance.

He thought about the patches of freckles on her shoulder, where the suns on Jakku had beat down on her for most of her life.  They were merely a breath away, and begging to be kissed.  As was the long column of her neck, and the strong shape of her arms.  Her lips, so quick to speak, yet so soft and sweet.  No.  This was not yet a confession, this was a gift.  A promise.  

With reluctance, he pulled back, shamelessly dragging his nose across the skin of her cheek.  As he moved, her hand slid from his hair, but landed on his chest, over his heart.  He stood to his full height and watched her, absorbed the feel of all five of her fingertips against him.

“Is that enough?” he asked.  

Rey’s hand slid down his chest, paused, then fell to her side. “Teach me,” she said.  Then, with a coy smile, she held out his own saber towards him.

Alarms sounded in his head as his hand flew to his hip, where she must have unclasped his weapon during their embrace.  For the first time in a long time, he felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment.  He pulled the crude thing to his hand with the Force, enjoying the smarting  _ snap  _ as it hit his palm.  “Good,” he said, with the ghost of a smile pulling at his face.

The rippling beam from his saber cut through the night and he moved into position.  Rey mirrored him, and the lesson began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A delight to see all of you following along! I've been loving writing this piece so far. I hope you continue to enjoy! See you on Thursday!
> 
> Thank you to my friend and prereader NoBaggage.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is SHOOK. Enjoy thusly.

**Chapter 5 - Rey**

He appeared beside her less than a week after his last visit.  She was practicing the steps he’d given her, and trying her damndest not to remember anything else.

Not the press of his nose to her cheek, nor the galloping pace of his heartbeat under her palm.  She certainly was not remembering the thrill down her spine when he had kissed her neck.

No.  She was one with the Force, her motions were sure and strong.  She was aware of every living thing around her.  The swamp rats moving through tunnels under the floor, the fly in the corner, the vines on the walls growing steadily towards the sun every moment of every day.

Fatigue pulled at the edges of her mind, begging her to stop.  Sleep.  Rest.

The war never let up, and there was always work to be done.  Children to teach, people to aid, things to be fixed.  The beds of her nails were aching from mending a speeder’s radiator for a refugee camp yesterday.  _ Gloves _ .  She needed gloves.

She was rarely alone and hardly ever idle.  In a way, she was glad for it.  The activity kept her thoughts from sinking lower and lower into the war and what it would take to win.  They had generals and strategists for that.  Surely nothing she thought was important, or even the right thing to do.

Helping people was where her strengths lay.

However, being occupied, being with others meant she did not see Ben as often as she wanted.  She found herself awaiting his presence with a pathetic eagerness in her stomach.  After their last time together they had shared something.   _ Felt _ something.  He had certainly kissed her…

And she had liked it, too.  Craved it, even.  She spent far too much time trying to remember the exact feel of his lips on her skin.

Rey growled and snapped out of her position.  She planted her feet shoulder width apart and sucked in a deep breath.  She was one with the Force, she was strong in body and mind.  There was a lizard on the narrow ledge of her stone window.  Beetles buzzed towards the ceiling, around the wavering blades of the overhead fan.  She was aware of the late tilt of the sun, marking the end of afternoon and start of twilight.  Soon her solitude would end and she would be thrown back into the fray.

She started the step sequence again, timing her feet with her heartbeat.  Matching the swing of her staff with her breaths.  That’s when she felt him, standing nearby, watching her with a quiet sort of pride.

As she made the final strike in the sequence, she shot a wrench from her work table towards Ben.  Rey didn’t need to look to know he had waved it aside with a bored flick of his fingers.  She smiled to herself as she heard it clatter into a corner.  The trick was something she would have done to a friend.

“Sloppy,” he said.

When she turned they were both smiling.  “My form or the cheap shot?”

He lifted his chin.  “Both.”

She put her free hand on her hip.  “Have you come all this way to critique me?”

“I don’t know,” he said, shaking the smile from his face.  “One moment I was on my ship, and now I’m here.”

Rey snapped the shield closed around her mind, gathered the traitorous emotions of her heart, and shoved them deep down inside.

“But, since I’m here,” he said lightly, “we may as well have another lesson.”  His smile lingered for a few precious moments more, and Rey felt genuine loss when it disappeared.  He reached to his side, wherever he was, and pulled up a metal staff.  He gestured towards her with the tip of it.  “Get into position.”

She did as she was told and felt him sidle up next to her, tall, broad and warm.  He snapped her elbow with the staff and she straightened it.  He jabbed her back and she stood up taller.  “I’ve been reading the ancient Jedi scripts,” Rey offered, lightly, grasping for conversation.

Ben froze.  “You...have those?”

“I stole them.”

With a sigh, he started moving again, jabbing her knee.  She bent it more.  “Of course you did.”

“There are a lot of rules.”

He hummed in agreement.

“I don’t understand why attachment is bad.”

An invisible hand tugged at a delicate metal chain around her neck.  With a sound of alarm, she dropped her staff and reached for the trinket, desperate to keep it from snapping.  To prove his point Ben’s weapon hit her hard in the side.

“You’re dead,” he drawled, stepping away.

The chain fell limp against her chest and she tucked it quickly into her shirt. “Point taken.”

Ben pointed at her.  “Who gave you that?”

“Um, you did, idiot.”

He prodded her again with the staff.  “Not the bruise, the necklace.”

Rey pinched her lips closed.  

“My mother did, didn’t she?”

She lifted her arm to block another blow, but he set the end of his staff on the ground.  

“It’s from Alderaan, you know.”

Rey pressed her hand over her chest where she could feel the thin chain under her clothes.  “I didn’t know that.  Thank you.  She gave it to me months ago.  I...don’t receive many gifts.”

His eyes weren’t unkind as he said, “A Jedi doesn’t accept gifts. Now you know why.”

She shot him a withering look.  “Do they keep their grandfather’s helmets as tokens?”

Ben rolled his eyes as he spun his staff around in his hand.  Rey pulled hers back into position and parried his strike, perhaps more forcefully than she should have.

“I’m no longer a Jedi, and Sith have different rules. They keep trophies. Although I’m not a Sith either.”

“That’s convenient.”

They whirled around and made contact again.  The clang was loud, and Ben was strong.  She pushed back as strong as she could and a flicker of approval shone through his eyes.

“The Jedi were exterminated for their strict, ridiculous rules,” Ben grunted as she swooped her staff around to catch him in the side.  

She growed.  “By your  _ grandfather _ .”

He struck again, sweat beading on his brow.  “You think Anakin Skywalker acted alone?  You’ve read the reports, as I have.  He had an entire squadron of clone troopers with him.  Not to mention the support of the senate-”

“He killed innocent men and women.   _ Children _ .”

Ben’s face was bored as he stepped away and out of their invisibile ring.  His fingers raked the hair from his face.  “The Jedi had alienated so many people that they were forced into extinction. They will be again.  And  _ again _ .”

Luke had said the same thing, and it infuriated her. She wanted to scream at Ben but she bit down on her tongue.  It would only echo down the halls of the ancient structure, calling alarm or worse, revealing her connection with Ben Solo.

A familiar, hungry look had filled his eyes.  She remembered his face and his outstretched hand.   _ Join me _ .  Ben gripped the staff tighter.  “We can change the future for Force users,” he said softly.  “You and I.”

She shook her head.  “I’ve told you, I can’t.”

“Some day you must.”  Stirred by his own words, Ben stepped close, eyes hungrier than ever.  “You’ve seen what I’ve seen.  The first time we touched.”

Rey turned away, too frightened to look at him.  She would see the man she longed for in her visions. Ben Solo, tall, strong, unburdened.  

“We saw a future, for both of us.  United. We're not meant to be enemies.”

She chanced a look at his face.  He was shaking and probably on the edge of something dangerous.  She opened her mouth to speak but she found nothing to say.

“Trust me when I say this is the future.  We can change everything.”

A heavy pound on her door nearly frightened her out of her own skin.  The staff tumbled from her fingers and clattered at their feet.  Her ears were ringing as Ben’s eyebrow quirked.  “What is it?”

“ _ Rey!” _  It was Poe.  He pounded again.  “Strategy session, five minutes. Control room.”

“Who is it?” Ben asked, insistent this time.

Rey pushed him away.  “No one.”  It took two tries before she found her voice loud enough to filter through the steel frame of her door.  “I’ll meet you there!” she called.  When she turned around, the hunger in Ben’s eyes had gone.  He was simmering with anger and jealousy.  

“I have to go,” she said.  There was no argument.

She watched him rein in his feelings, keep down the words he wanted to shout at her for the answer she still refused to give.  Muscles bulged in his jaw as he clenched it tight.  He took in a slow breath through his nose, closed his eyes, and let it out.  

“Rey,” he said gently, then reached for her elbow.  His eyes were imploring, his face unreadable.  Rey braced herself for a hard tug towards him, wondering if he was going to yank her away - steal her away somehow.  Her stomach swooped with a thrill at the possibility.  

Instead he squeezed her arm gently and let go.  “Keep your elbow in if you have to fight.  Stay safe.”

The words off his lips were quiet, sweet in a way she was only getting to know.  She wanted to say more, to take his hand, to  _ keep _ him there for more than a handful of minutes.  His eyes softened as though he could hear everything in her head.

Then he was gone.

The strategy session fell on her deaf ears.  Her attention remained tied somewhere across the galaxy, to where a tall, tortured soul was hoping she stayed safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thank you to everyone who popped in for chapter four earlier this week. I hope you enjoy this week's "Saber Bonding" series. Next week, stay tuned for "Actual Flirting."
> 
> Anyone else dying to get their hands on TLJ novelization? I am...
> 
> Thank you to my friend, mindsistah and prereader, NoBaggage.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A starry sky is always better shared.

**Chapter 6 - Ben**

Ben Solo hated cities.

He hated the suffocating feel of them; how the spires jutted up to the sky, blocking out all remnants of what once was.  He hated the smell; the putrid stink of the streets under his feet, awash with filth and secrets.  He hated life there; the doldrum repetition of tasks and routines, day in and day out.  

Lines of speeders raced through the sky, hiding the sun from view.  Lights of bright jewel tone colors flickered all around him, writing crude names onto the filthy stone walls.  Underworld bars and gentleman’s clubs seemed to stretch one block after the next.  He’d been walking for hours, marching through the forgotten skeleton of the city above.  What was left on the city floor was an embarrassment to thousands of years of civilization.

If he could, he would obliterate everyone here.

Coruscant was no longer the seat of any great power, and it showed.  With a lack of government presence and financial influence, the once great metropolis had fallen to ruin.  He had spent most of the day prowling through what was left of the Jedi Temple, which was arguably not much.  It had been many years since anything valuable had been stolen and sold for parts.  He was mostly in search of memories, remnants of Force feeling lingering in the blaster-scorched walls.

He had found little of use, which was why he had wandered for hours and landed in the Underworld.

Ben turned sharply and made his way to the nearest club, a monstrocity called  _ Sky Tower _ which had somehow built its main bar hundreds of stories up into the main city.

He paid attention to little as he purchased his way to the penthouse of the establishment, even now reserved only for the First Order officials with the most coin in their pockets.  It was more crowded than he expected and he shook his hair over his forehead.  Even though most had never seen him without his mask, he didn’t want to risk detection.  Currently, he was not the best-loved official in the Order.  It had been his plan all along, yet he would rather survive the evening without an assassination attempt.

He ordered a drink from the bar - something strong and without frills - then left the musty room behind for the deserted balcony.  Up here the night was cold, and the wind tugged at his cloak.  He wrapped it around himself and leaned against the railing.  The alcohol burnt his throat on the way down, but he finished it anyway, passing the glass to the next courtesy droid.

A glimmer caught his eye, and he looked up.  The wind had cleared a patch of pollution clouds and the sparkling light of the stars shone through the midnight sky.  It was odd, he spent most of his time staring out viewports at the stars, but it was always different planetside.  Even here, where nothing natural remained except this: the sky.

“You seem contemplative,” Rey said at his shoulder.  

He’d been so transfixed at the view, he hadn’t even sensed her approach.  The hollow silence of their connection was an odd comfort after the day spent in a noisy, decaying city. 

“I  am ,” he said.

She observed him quietly.  “You’re watching the sky.”

Ben looked away.

“You look the way I feel when I do the same.”

He found himself wishing he had another drink…  “Can you see the stars where you are?” he asked.

Rey sighed stepped closer to his side.  “No.”

“Don’t suppose you’d elaborate,” he teased gently, offering her a quiet smile.

She returned it, and his insides warmed.  “No.  I don’t suppose I will.”

“I’ll tell you where I am,” he offered.

Her eyes widened.

“I’m on Coruscant.”

Rey’s lip curled at the mention.  “Why? There’s nothing there but ruins.”

He nodded his head as he looked over the city.  “True.  I thought I might find some answers, but I didn’t.”

“What did you find?”

“You, I guess.”

Her mouth twitched into an indulgent smile.  “I probably can’t reach you in time, can I?” she asked, voice flickering with enough hope to bolster his mood for the next few minutes.

“Doubtful, even for the  _ Falcon _ .”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Why, indeed.  With a sigh, Ben turned to face her and stepped close.  “I don't really know. It feels nice to tell someone the truth. Feels nice to tell  _ you _ .” The wind was whipping his hair around his head, but Rey stood still and perfect.  It was a cruel reminder that they weren’t actually together.  

He hadn’t seen her in several weeks.  She had a new bandage on her arm.  He reached forward and touched the edge of it with his fingers.  He wondered if all of this would be easier if she still shied away from his touch.

“I wish I could see the stars,” she said, looking upwards, uselessly.

“Hmm,” he hummed, brain spinning as he watched her.  He felt suddenly brave. Perhaps it was the drink. “There might be a way.”

Her eyes sparkled with equal mischief. “Really?”

He removed one glove from his hand and twiddled his fingers in the night air.  “I think so.  Can I try something?”

“Go on. Will anyone notice you talking to a phantom?”

Ben shook his head.  “They already think I’m a madman.” He lifted his hand to her face, fingertips hovering over her skin. Ever so gently, he pressed the tips of his fingers to her hairline and called out to The Force.  He latched on to the bond that held them together, traced it back to wherever she was.

He felt her presence, as he always did - warm, alive,  _ good. _ For a moment he let her aura wash over him and clear away the filth and disappointment of his day. Then, ever so slightly, he opened a sliver of his mind.

She gasped, and a hand flew to his wrist. “Ben, you don’t have to-”

He shushed her gently. “Look.  Through my eyes.” Ben tilted his head back and gazed up at the stars. More clouds had opened, revealing the tired grey moon and a stream of shooting stars as one ship left the atmosphere after another. 

She gasped as the vision came to her and her fingers tightened on his arm.  “It’s beautiful,” she breathed. “I haven’t looked in such a long time.”

Through their minds he saw her, as he’d seen long ago, back when he took memories, instead of asked for them. Rey was young and alone in the desert. On Jakku there were no cities or pollution to poison the sky, and weak human eyes could still see through to the stars.   He felt her loneliness and the utter abandonment she had felt in her shelter at night. He felt it, and he knew it. He found himself wondering if she was lonely now that she was surrounded by her friends with the Resistance.

Ben had been on Coruscant, long ago for the brief time his mother inhabited this world. He had charted the stars and planets from his room in the Senate tower. He flicked his eyes to a golden pin prick in the sky, south of Hoth, east of Yavin.

“Jakku,” Rey said, voice thick. “It’s so far away.”

“Can you feel the suns from here?” He teased. 

She let out a little laugh. “Hardly.”

Ben couldn’t help his eyes from falling back to her. It was almost like they were here together, seeing the same sky, side by side.  He didn’t often allow himself a chance to observe her unnoticed.  She was beautiful, of course, but like this, with her heart and mind open and her face so full of wonder...

She made a sound of disgust at the sight of her own face, then opened her eyes. Their mental connection faltered.  “What happened?”

He cleared his throat and pulled his hand back. His mind snapped back like a rubber strap. “The clouds are back. I lost concentration.”

She hid her disappointment with a kind smile. “Thank you, Ben.”

He felt her fading as he tried to smile back and did his best to mask his own unhappiness. He wondered if she would always be this curious and imagined all that was left in the galaxy to show her. 

“Goodnight, Rey.”

“Goodnight,” she called as their connection faded into nothing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look. I don’t know what the heck is going on with Coruscant in the Sequel Series but back in the day of the Prequel Series, I wrote a lot of teen angst between Anakin and Padme. It was fun to go back there. Thanks for joining me on my walk down [Coruscant] memory lane. 
> 
> I said straight up flirting was coming, I hope that delivered. More to come on Thursday. Have pleasant weeks all of you!
> 
> Thank you to NoBaggage, my faithful prereader.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The _Falcon_ is a good place for feels.

**Chapter 7- Rey**

She wasn’t quite sure how she ended up seeing it in the darkness, amidst all the scratches and blinking panels. Perhaps it had called to her; a small, distant memory looking for its owner.  All around her it was dark and dank, not a place for mementos. Yet, there it was as innocent and bold as any child’s name would be carved into a wall.

_ “Ben Solo” _

Rey was wedged between the narrow opening of a little-used smuggling cavity in the  _ Falcon. _ Her lower back was curled against the floor and her legs were propped against the wall before her. She’d been here for hours, long enough that her confidence in untangling herself from this position was waning.

Down here, the sounds of the ship were loud and rhythmic.  She felt them all around her, vibrating in her bones. Her worries and fears were drowned out by the noise. She had come down here to think and to meditate. Her thoughts had been obediently occupied with improvements to the ship until she had seen his name on the wall.

It was etched into the metal and the edges were still sharp, as though no one had touched it since it had been written. As though no one had seen it, not even once.  Rey helplessly reached a hand out to touch the name she knew so well.  She cast a net out into the Force, trolling for any hint of a feeling.

The memory was all there, rushing back to her like a flood. Young Ben hiding here, gangly and awkward with boots that were almost too small for his growing feet.  He longed to shoot through the stars at full speed like his father, but there was a weight and a darkness holding him back.  His powers sang to him at all hours of the day, like a feral beast under his skin. The force of it was so strong, she gasped as it seized her senses. The darkness thrummed within him. 

“ _ Ben, _ ” she hissed, drawing her hand away to cover her mouth. 

“What?”

She would have flinched if she had any space to move. She was eye level with the tops of his boots. 

Her shape must have come into focus and he at last looked down at her. He cocked his head. “What are you doing?”

He was familiar to her now - the shape and sound of him. He stood tall and commanding in his black uniform, but she felt comforted at the sight of him and the sound of his voice.  His power was still palpable as a man, yet he controlled it now.  She felt tendrils reach out to her and she didn’t brush them away.  

“I found you,” she said. 

“Found  _ me _ ?” he asked.  Then he looked at her body and the way her hand extended towards a wall he could not see. “Ah.  That.” 

She watched him rub his chin thoughtfully, then a smile, rare and lovely filled his face. He crouched beside her. “What are you doing down there?”

“Meditating.”

“Clearly.”

“I felt you,” she said without thinking. 

Ben turned towards where his name was on the wall. She wondered if he could feel it too. “I remember the day I did that,” he mused, thoughtfully. “Han Solo was mad at me. I hid there for hours. Not even Chewie remembered that compartment existed. Maybe they thought I couldn’t fit.”

“It would be my first assumption.”

He chuckled. “My father’s name was all over that ship. Not written, of course. Everyone knew it was his. When it landed, people celebrated. Whenever I entered a room, people ignored me.”

Rey swallowed the lump in her throat and kept her eyes on him, even though she wanted to look away. The sadness on his face was real, and in a way, it was beautiful. 

“I was small and lonely,” he sighed, “Just as you were.” 

His painful memories threatened to drown her in darkness.  She fought against it.  “Are you lonely now?” 

His eyes turned back to hers. They were close like this but it didn’t frighten her any longer. “Not with you here,” he said, as he draped an arm over a bent knee. “Did you ever realize how much we had in common as children?”

Months ago, she would have lashed out at the thought. Sharing things with Kylo Ren used to be unthinkable and horrific.  What could she possibly have in common with a monster?  She knew better now, and she knew  _ him _ .

Rey reached across and placed her hand on his forearm.  “I’m glad to know I wasn’t alone, even then.”

He covered her hand with his.  “Me too.”

She watched his face carefully.  He seemed at ease today.  The dark circles under his eyes had faded after all these months.  She hoped it meant he was struggling less.  Down here, in her quiet place, the intimacy of their meeting was making her pulse race.  She found herself wishing she could lean into him for an embrace.  After all, his arms were long and strong... 

“No insider questions for me today?” he asked, eyes sparkling.

She swallowed as his fingertips started moving over her hand.  Sparks were firing under her skin. “Is there one you want me to ask?”

Ben watched her darkly for a beat before he said, “Things will happen soon.”  The excitement still flickered across his face, but his voice was firm.  “You should urge the Resistance to stay alert.”

Rey felt the icy dread of fear sink unpleasantly in her stomach.  She still had so many questions for him, and so much to learn.  “Don’t do anything stupid,” she hissed.

Ben’s eyes narrowed.  “Like what?”

“Like,” she sucked in a shaky breath, “Get yourself killed.”

She sensed the change in him, though his face didn’t betray his worn mask of indifference.  His fingers tightened over hers.  “Have you ever considered it might be better if I was killed?”

“No,” she said too quickly.  It came out like a plea. Her voice was loud in the narrow space they shared.

“Liar,” Ben hissed.

Rey shook her head and fought the tears building behind her eyes.  “I hated you once.  More than I ever hated anyone.  When I fought against you for my life, I didn’t know what I was doing other than surviving.”

At last he looked away, lips working and chin trembling.

“I wanted to beat you at all this,” she continued. “I wanted to win, to save The Resistance. I never wanted to kill you.”

She felt his shuddering breaths on their entwined hands. His fingers were curled around hers protectively.

“Do you hate me now?” he asked.

His voice was small and scared.  She saw the memory of that boy, lost and alone, and realized he was still here.  

“No,” she said gently.  “Of course I don’t.”

He shook his head.

“Ben,” Rey said.  “You know it to be true.”

He spoke through his teeth like it hurt.  “I know.”

“Now we’re–”  What? Friends?  “Whatever we are.  And I want...” her throat closed around her voice. 

“Something else?” He lifted his chin to meet her gaze.  There was an intensity there, a longing that she didn’t entirely know what to do with.

“Yes,” was all she could manage.

His sigh wasn’t that of disappointment, or even anger.  It was the sigh of someone who wanted something desperately but didn’t know how to reach it.  

Whatever had passed between them was still there, heavy and dark.  Reality pressed in on them from every angle.  Soon the battle would begin, and the war would end.  Their choices together, however small, would have impact.  Above all, Rey didn’t want to lose him.  

The open look on his face from earlier was gone, shrouded by the mask of Supreme Leader Ren.  His reality, it seemed, had already latched onto him.  “I’m glad you’re here right now,” she offered, hoping to find a reason to make him smile again - to bring Ben back for one more moment.

She was rewarded brilliantly with the tiniest upcurve of his mouth.  “I am too, Rey.  I’m always glad.”

“I really was meditating before you arrived. Do you want to join me?” she asked.

His eyes were unreadable as he absorbed her question, then nodded.  “For as long as I can stay.”  He lifted her hand from his arm so he could settle his huge frame beside her.  If he had really been on the  _ Falcon _ , he never would have fit.  Somehow, the Force made it so.  Ben kissed her knuckles before letting her go.  Rey curled her fist into the warm crook of her elbow as though she could burn the sensation into her skin forever.

They faced each other with their legs crossed at the ankles and hands draped gently over their knees.  The roar of the engines surrounded her as she closed her eyes and the peace and tranquility of the Force took over her senses.

When she returned to her body, she didn’t know if hours or minutes had passed.  Ben was gone, leaving nothing in his place.  She was closer to his name on the wall now, and she pressed her fingers to it once more, hoping that wherever he was, he would know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Jason Mendoza voice* Oh dang you guys!!
> 
> Sorry about the feels. I even stabbed my own heart with them. Feels nice.
> 
> To everyone one who's contributed to the hits, kudos, bookmarks and comments: THANK YOU! It's a real joy to share this with you. I have the whole thing written already, so experiencing all your reactions and enthusiasm week by week is really fun. Thank you for taking the time to read and contribute.
> 
> Next week: feelings intensify!! Time to get this romance on the road, y'all.
> 
> Thank you to my beta, buddy and sistah NoBaggage for her words of wisdom and encouragement. Also for sharing in my Adam Driver love. Because man, is that fun.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes all you need is touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I certainly write to music, I hardly find myself listening to other author's music. BUT, in case you're interested, this song is the soundtrack for this chapter.
> 
> [_The Well_ by Imaginary Future](https://youtu.be/Ziy-SbOyi20)

**Chapter 8 - Ben**

Ben sank down onto his bed with a boneless fatigue he hadn’t felt in years.  Not since he was patrolling the galaxy with the Knights of Ren, scouring entire planets for rebellious scum.  His head was pounding with an ache rooted deep in the base of his skull; like some sort of beast trying to escape the confines of his brain.

He supposed a beast wasn’t far from the truth.  He had been trying to claw out his own tortured being for what felt like the last year.  Conflicted shards of anger and longing had fractured within him.  Not to mention the figurative mask he still wore.  He was changing, softening, and retreating from the pathetic safety of The Order to plan his own way in the universe.  

He had become more than Kylo Ren, and with Rey, he could be even more.

Slowly, he bent over his knees and covered his weary face with his hands.  It was the first time he had been alone in his quarters for what felt like weeks. He had finally had the rare opportunity to enjoy a fresher and a shave.  With any hope, he would have time for at least a few hours of sleep. His bare feet looked strange on the polished black floor of his quarters.  They were blindingly human; gangly, imperfect, pale.  He was dressed in only the standard issue sleeping trousers given to all of the troops.  His black tunic was shoved into the corner of his fresher unit, smeared with blood and sweat.  

He took these rare moments of solitude and allowed himself think of Rey; to unfasten the heavy armor around his mind and give in to the fleeting, precious moments of weakness.

_ Rey of the light _ .

His desire for her scorched across his entire body.  He let it flame, hoping the burning would extinguish it for a time, so that he could live another day, unburdened.  He wanted her in a way that he had never wanted anything.  So deeply and completely he couldn’t push it away. It haunted every part of his being; poisoned his thoughts, tingled at the ends of his fingers, raced his black heart, swirled darkly in his stomach and lower. 

Words floated into his mind and to the tip of his tongue.  Things he never thought he would have the chance to feel, let alone say out loud.

He sensed the connection before he saw her, as though the Force was answering an unspoken plea.  She materialized before him, standing awkwardly in her usual dress.  Her face was that of annoyance at first, interrupted in the midst of some task, he imagined.  She tossed something to the side - perhaps a rag or a wrench - then dragged her bound wrist across her forehead.  No sooner had she set her jaw in defiance, then her brow crumpled at the sight of him: shirtless and bared as he was.

“I’m sorry,” she pleaded, holding out her hands in apology.  “I wasn’t expecting to-”

“It’s fine,” he said, brushing his hands over his face, hoping to clean away all his wicked thoughts with it.

Her voice shook.  “I can go.  You’re....”  she gestured towards him.

“You can’t ‘ _ go _ ,’” he said.  “Stay.  Talk to me.”

Rey’s eyes remained resolutely locked to his face. 

“Tell me what you can.”

The gentle timbre of his voice lured her closer.  She studied him as she twisted her fingers together.  “The battles are growing more frequent,” she said, fear lingering underneath her words.  “People are dying.  So many people…”

Ben nodded.  He should have felt remorse or sorrow.  Instead of regret, he felt relief.  “It will be over soon.”

Rey’s forehead creased as she contemplated his words, then shook her head, brushing them away.  “Tell me what’s wrong,” she said instead.

He rubbed at the back of his neck.  “You said it yourself.  The battles are growing more frequent.”

“And?”

He arched a brow.  “And...being Supreme Leader is far more taxing than most would think.”

Her head fell to one side.  “I don’t think anyone would assume otherwise.”

“You’d be surprised.”

A grin tugged at his lips and he let it, smiling lopsidedly up at her.  At last, relief had begun to comfort his aching body.  They were friends now, he could smile with her.  She watched him, quietly from a few paces away. He let a long-buried instinct take over, shoved aside everything else holding him back, and held out his hand.

The veins of his bare arm shone starkly against his pale skin, lit brightly by the starship lamps in the ceiling.  Rey’s eyes followed the twisting threads down to his wrist to his outstretched fingers. They’d touched before, reached out to the other for comfort or reassurance.  He’d kissed her skin, and smelled her sweat.  This was different.  He was asking, but really he was begging.   _ Please _ .  

Her fingers were soft as they slid over his skin and clasped his palm tightly.

“Tell me what’s wrong, truthfully,” Rey murmured, thumb moving over his knuckles.

Not long ago, he would have ripped his hand away and run from any threat of emotion slipping through his carefully maintained mask.  No one, let alone Rey of the Light would see or sense the turmoil within him.  

Things had changed now.   _ He _ had changed.

Ben tugged her gently, urging her forward to stand between his legs.  He gazed up at her reverantly, her beauty far too diminished in their hazy Force projections.  “It doesn’t matter.  I’m better now.”

Pink splashed over her cheeks as she tried to bite down a smile. Ben fought his own as he looked up at her.  This felt more intimate than he expected, and he was thrilled by it.  He drew slow circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.

Rey lifted her free hand and placed it on his bare shoulder; over the star-shaped scar from the tip of her lightsaber.  Ben sucked in a breath, closing his eyes tightly at the contact.  It was real - blindingly real.  He felt the waves of her powers rippling through him where her fingers touched him.  Gentle, soothing calm stroked the inside of his skin.  

She moved her thumb over the blemish, pressing into the ridges of his scar.  With a shudder, his hands flew to her hips.  The gauzy fabric of her tunic slid under his fingers.  

“It’s all right,” she said, gently.  He didn’t know if it was in response to his touch or their conversation.  As if to assure him, she pressed her hand to his hair.  Ben shamelessly leaned into the touch, then nearly lost himself when she slid her fingers purposefully against his scalp.  A tremor rippled through her body, as though she too had dreamed of this.  He let out a pathetic groan.  

_ Touch _ .

“Rey,” he ground out as her fingers continued to comb his mess of hair.  His hands gripped her tighter, pulled her closer.   _ Don’t go _ .  With a defeated sigh, he dropped his head so it fell against her stomach.

She gasped, then let it out as a weak laugh.  Her fingers knotted into his hair as she leaned over him. “I’d imagine your life is a lot like mine.  It’s not often we are touched.”

He shook his head, mutely.  Rey continued stroking his hair, working smooth lines from the crown of his head down the back of his neck.  Each pass felt like he was shedding another later of his armor.

“Do you ever dream about a different life?” she whispered.

He closed his eyes tight and looped an arm around her waist.  “You know I do,” he said into the fabric at her hips.  “But it’s a distraction I can’t afford.”

She sighed.  “I know,” she said, breath hot on his scalp.  “But maybe for tonight.”

His heart shattered and he held her tighter still.  Maybe for tonight they could pretend that they were together, that the war that bled between them was none of their concern.  He could pretend that she was his, always.

“Is it night where you are?” she asked.

“Yes,” he growled, swinging his other arm around her.  He could feel every muscle and bone against his skin.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her cheek to his head.  She was stooped and awkward, but her arms held him tightly.  Each of her heartbeats pounded heavily in his ears.  

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she whispered his name, voice sweet and slow.  He pulled back enough to tilt his head so he could see her.  He wondered if she needed to step away - if the darkness in him was starting to choke her.  A part of him expected to see fear etched into her lovely face.

There was nothing like that, only warmth and hope.  She had accepted him, as she had done that day in the jungle - as she had done for months now.  Rey’s hands moved to his face, framing him in her strong grip.  She didn’t say more, only held him still before her.  He watched the flicker in her eyes as they moved from feature to feature across his face, absorbing every part of him into memory.  He closed his eyes and laid his mind open.  She stared down into his soul, absorbing everything.

Ben let himself think about all the things he wanted.  A peaceful life with all of his misguided choices behind him, free from of the battle between good and evil.  A world where he and Rey had met as friends, or equals.  He thought of how deeply he wanted her in his life, and how far she would allow it.

He ached for  _ balance.  _

When he opened his eyes, he let them come to focus on her face.  “You’re beautiful,” he said, feeling suddenly that he needed to.  He’d never told her before.  “I’ve always thought so.”

Rey’s thumbs began to move, tracing arcs over his cheeks and under his eyes.  “So are you.”  

He felt himself sag in her arms, breath falling from his lungs in shallow gasps.  It was a compliment he didn’t need, or deserve, yet it lifted buoyant in his chest.  His eyes drifted helplessly to her lips, relaxed and open as she watched him.  He had imagined kissing her before, but never dared after that night on Fraarus.  Surely she wouldn’t want that, she couldn’t.  Not from him.  She deserved someone  _ good _ .  Someone like her.

It never stopped his traitorous thoughts...  

Still in tune with his mind, her thumb touched the corner of his mouth.  They watched each other as she dragged it slowly across the shape of his lips.  He pursed them slightly, applying the pressure of a kiss to the pad of her thumb.  His arms tightened around her.

“Rey, I…”

She silenced him with her fingers over his mouth, then shook her head ever so slightly.  He could see the determination in her eyes, laser focused on his mouth.  His pushed his hands up her sides counting the intendations of her ribs with his fingers.  She stepped closer still.

In an instant, the space between them turned cold.  Their connection was fracturing around them.

“No,” he whispered gripping her tunic tightly.  Then louder, “ _ Please _ .”

Her fingers knotted in his hair, as though she could hang on from across the galaxy.  “Ben...”

Barely a heartbeat passed before she disappeared.  His hands fell to his lap, empty and alone.

He stayed that way for hours, too afraid to move and disrupt the lingering presence of her.  Where her hands had touched him, his skin burned.  His lips ached with the ghost of a kiss he would never receive.  The air around him smelled of her.  He focused on his breathing as he closed every open window to his mind.  The armor went up once more, layer after layer, even as he felt the fire consume his skin again.

He let it burn.

For love, he would let the flames swallow him whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *squints* Not sure if sexual tension or just plain angst at this point...
> 
> Anyway, I do have a soft spot for this chapter. Or maybe I just have a soft spot for Adam Driver's naked upper half.
> 
> Both. Both is good.
> 
> I hope you have enjoyed this almost kissing. Next chapter is gonna hurt. But then it's gonna get better. Be well, lovely readers!! Thank you for your support!
> 
> Thank you to my love NoBaggage for being there when all Ben Solo needed was touch.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's never a good time for war.

**Chapter 9 - Rey**

Word of Kylo Ren -  _ The Defector _ \- reached the Resistance base before Rey was ready to hear the news.  She wanted more time, and the selfish thoughts nearly choked her when she realized it meant more death, more killing in exchange for another embrace with Ben Solo.

The reports said he escaped his dreadnaught with the Knights of Ren, and had yet to be found.  The First Order was supposedly in disarray, imploding on itself. She supposed this was it - the grand plan. A plan where Kylo Ren could escape unnoticed, and still the Order would fall. 

She hoped it was successful and that he would survive long enough for them to find each other. Mostly, Rey hated that he would be seen as a coward, when really it was the bravest thing he could have done. Ben Solo’s peaceful future was lost, and he would forever be a fugitive to either side.  Desperation clawed at her all hours of the day.  She had an intense desire to find him - to  _ save him _ .  Not from the Darkness, but from the world around them.

Was it fair that he avoid the consequences of his actions merely because she wished it so?  Were her feelings for him more meaningful than the concept of good and evil, and the laws of the side she aligned with?

_ It’s time to let the past die _ .

The final battle was looming near and although her body was ready to fight, her mind was not.  She saw the battle each time she closed her eyes.  It haunted her there, thrumming through the Force with violence and destruction. Her visions changed too quickly to keep track of.  There was death, pain and suffering, and sometimes there was life and hope. 

All around her on the base, troops were celebrating.  Her friends were whooping for joy.   _ “Maybe he’s dead _ !” they cried.  There were torn propaganda posters and graffiti lines on the wall.  She noticed the haunted look in Leia’s eyes from time to time, and felt the pain in her heart.  Still, the General knew nothing of Rey’s connection to her son.  She did not know about the resolve in his heart or how tightly he had held her in his arms. 

Rey did not expect for Ben to come to her until the war was over.  Perhaps not even then.  She forced herself to accept that it was for his safety, and her own.  They’d had their tender interlude together. He had called her beautiful and cradled her in his arms. Wasn’t that enough?  It was certainly more than she had ever dreamed from anyone, let alone him. 

However, with each hour that passed, she ached for him.

The Supreme Leader had been missing for two weeks when Rey returned to her quarters after a particularly grueling session in the war room.  The leaders of The Resistance were grasping at straws, too afraid and too exhausted to gain any ground.  She retreated to the darkness and curled into a ball on her bunk.  

The light outside the base was fading, and only a small sliver made its way into her bedroom.  She absorbed the welcome silence and quiet, and let the calm spread through her limbs.  Her eyes fell closed as she reached out with the Force.  She searched for him, but his flicker of darkness was weak and hard to find.  Rey wondered if he was already dead.

“Ben,” she whispered into her hands as she covered her face.

She didn’t expect him to appear at her call.  She wouldn’t have dreamed of stealing him away from whatever dark cave he was hiding in.  His hand touched her face, so sweet and gentle. Still, Rey flinched at the touch, reached out for the intruder. Her hands grabbed a fistful of his shirt. 

He was crouched beside her bunk when she opened her eyes.  His dark eyes were pinched tight as he studied her.  He stroked her hair soothingly.

“Are you safe?” she blurted out.  It was all she could think of.

The absurdity of her question made him huff out a laugh.  He lay his hand on the slope of her neck.  “No, not at all.”

“Will you tell me where you are?”

His smile lingered as he shook his head. “Not yet, but soon. It’s less safe for you.”

She reached out to touch the corner of his mouth. “What’s less safe?”

“Knowing my location. I don’t want anyone to force it out of you, Jedi.”

“I’m no Jedi,” Rey hissed into her pillow.

Ben raised an eyebrow.

She felt the shameful pinprick of tears in the corner of her eyes.  It was selfish to think of him now, when the entire Resistance was depending on her for victory.  How was she to offer hope when her own heart was breaking?  “The Jedi are forbidden from attachment.”

Ben’s body seemed to sag at her confession and a tense breath whooshed through his lips.  “Oh Rey,” he sighed.  His thumb swept over her cheek and he leaned close to kiss her temple.

She snaked her arms around his torso, gripping the broad shape of him and holding him where he was.  She wanted too much.  She wanted  _ him _ too much.  Her nose pressed to the rough edge of his collar, but his skin there was warm.  He wrapped her in his arms, awkwardly cradling her where she lay on her bunk.  They were both trembling.  

It was too tender a moment for the reality of their situation. There was hardly time for romance, not when the entire galaxy was fit to explode. She was a heartbeat from pulling him down next to her and wrapping him up with her body.  Merely to keep him there, and keep him safe.  His lips lingered on her skin near her ear, hovering just out of reach.

“You asked me last time if I dreamed of a different life,” he murmured.

Rey gripped him tighter.  His deep voice, even at whisper, reverberated inside her bones.

“If I had never destroyed the temple, if I had become a Jedi, I wonder if we ever would have met.”

Tears filled her eyes.  “I know.”

“I wouldn’t want a life like that.”

She let herself cry against his shoulder as he comforted her with slow, sweeping motions of his hand on her back.  Her tears soaked up in the fabric of his tunic, and she wondered if they too would disappear when she did; if he’d be left with the stain of her tears wherever he was hiding.

What if this was the end?  Of everything.

Slowly, Rey pushed herself away and got to her feet.  She reached for his hands and lifted him beside her until he was towering over her, dark shoulders blocking out what little light was left.  Their fingers twisted and moved together, as though they could never get enough of the feel of it.  His palms were rough and calloused, and she supposed hers were no different.  But they were so  _ small _ in his grip - tiny, insignificant. He gathered her hands between his and brought her fingers to his lips.  Ben had kissed her hands all kinds of ways now.  It was all he allowed himself, yet she treasured each one. 

“When the time comes, what will happen?” she asked, voice barely above a whisper.

He swallowed.  “When we meet on the battlefield, you mean?”

Rey nodded.

“I’ve left the First Order so that I can destroy them.  My men and I fight for the same cause as you do.”  He leaned closer as he said, “When the time comes, I’ll find you.”

She felt her lip tremble.  “And?”

“We fight together.”

_ Together _ .  Her vision blurred with tears. “Ben, I’m afraid.”

Sparks lit behind his eyes.  “Of me?”

“ _ No _ .”  She pulled a hand away to swipe the dampness from her cheeks.  “What if the Resistance finds you first?  They don’t know...I never told them about you.  They’ll take you prisoner.  They might even  _ kill _ you.”

Ben’s smile was sad, but he slid one hand between them to curl a finger under her chin.  He lifted her face.  “Don’t worry about that now.”

His touch was so gentle she could hardly believe they had once been enemies.  That not so long ago, he had stolen her away and taken her prisoner.  She hardly remembered the way he’d ripped her memories from her own head.  “I have to worry,” she said.  “I must protect you from them.”

“Why?” he asked intently.  He watched her, attempting to read everything he could from her face.

“The only one who is allowed to kill you, is me,” she said.  “And I refuse to let that happen.”

Her answer, however grim and violent, brought a helpless smile to Ben’s face as he leaned closer.  It was almost as though he had to, as though he  _ needed _ to be closer.  She felt it too; as though someone or something was urging her forward.  The air shimmered around them signalling the end of their connection.  She gripped his shirt tightly.

“Some day soon, we’ll be in the same place,” Ben said fiercely, “And I won’t have to leave you.”

She couldn’t stop the tears that fell over her cheeks.  “Don’t go.”

“I’ll find you,” he said again.  Then, without a moment’s hesitation, he leaned forward and pressed a swift kiss to her lips.

He was gone before she could watch him pull away.  She tried her best to remember all of it; the softness of his full lips, the desperate force behind the kiss, his warm finger curled under her chin.  If he had waited another moment, it never would have happened.  She covered her mouth and chin with her hand, pressing the phantom shape of his lips into her skin and into her memory.

The kiss had lasted only a heartbeat, but her lips still burned.

She fell back into her bunk and cried.  For the first time, she let herself grieve over the future they would never share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news everyone! Everything will be right by Valentine's Day!! Eh??
> 
> I'm awfully sorry about all that. They are beautiful to write when they're angsty and passionate at the same time... We all know the battle had to happen some time, but at least they got one kiss in. Final batch of chapters next week! It's bittersweet! Thank you for all of your lovely reviews this week, I'm so glad you loved the last chapter as much as I did. This one isn't as warm and fuzzy, but I hope you still liked it.
> 
> Stay tuned next week for the big swell of Rey and Ben Solo's unwritten John William's love theme! Blaster fire, explosions, reunions! It's all there. Be ready.
> 
> My lovely friend NoBaggage has preread this chapter for me, as always. Although hopefully she'll find some new tidbits in this version that she enjoys <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the pre-note with music that may or may not be meaningful to you. But this song on repeat is my soundtrack for this chapter. Also a great song regardless. 
> 
> [_Beige_ by Yoke Lore](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjrZ4egf3oc)
> 
> I'm nervous about this one! Enjoy!

**Chapter 10 - Ben**

The battlefield was horrific.

It was relentless and ugly and vast.

He had led both The Resistance and The Order to a tiny moon, covered in craters and dust.  Its surface, once untouched, was now littered with machinery, blaster fire and corpses.  The battle took up most of the moon’s surface and its disturbed dust now clouded the air around them.  The sky above was dark and speckled with stars; peaceful and untouched, compared to the carnage below.

Ben had lost most of his soldiers and fellow Knights of Ren.  They’d defected with him weeks ago, and now only three of his knights were left.  They surrounded him and their weapons flickered from low power and damage.  He hid his grief and his anger that it had come to this.   _ Let it all die _ , he’d thought.  And he had.  

A green shard of blaster fire whistled past his shoulder and Ben hunched down into position.  Another horde of First Order troops rushed towards them and he hit the ignition switch on his saber.  The scarlet beam burst into life and he reared his arm back, ready for the first strike. He channeled his emotions into his movements; the arc of his blade and the thrust of his attack.  Anger was part of it, but it was deeper now.  This battle was bigger than anything he’d ever faced, and for some ridiculous reason, he had hope now.  He had Rey…

The troops were surprised by his aggressive attack and they fell back at once, retreating into the shadow of the small-artillery walker at their backs.  The knights flocked towards the machine, snapping wires and bolts as they worked their way up its body like parasites.  Ben reached his hand out to grasp for the pilot inside.  He felt the soldier’s throat, and blood pumping through veins.  With a flick of his fingers, the man was dead, and the walker sagged limp, and lifeless before them.

Now unprotected, the troopers rushed back into formation all too late.  Ben and his knights slashed through their plastoid armor one after one until the platoon was destroyed.  They fell back to catch their breath.

Rey was here somewhere.  He knew it more than he knew anything.

The moon was small, hardly large enough to have its own gravity.  She could be anywhere, but he would find her.  Time was running out for The Resistance and they needed to find their front before it was overwhelmed by The Order’s heavy artillery. He had to find Rey, and soon. 

Ben reached out for her, senses traversing the dusty surface of the moon. As always, her light was blinding; a beacon as though just for him.  Her presence tingled just outside of his senses and he tugged at it until she was real and concrete.  The volume of the battle around him dimmed and blurred around the edges.  They were together and apart.  In the edge of his vision, he saw another platoon rushing towards him.  He blocked a blaster bolt and guarded against another, unable to turn around. 

“Are you there?” she asked.  Her voice was hoarse from shouting, but he could feel her at his back, resolve as sure and strong as ever.  Her elbow brushed against his as she planted her feet for another attack. It was almost as though they were fighting the same battle. Almost...

“I’m here,” he answered, knocking a helmet off a soldier and into the dust. “Where are you?”

Ben heard the humming of her saber, and a clash as it hit its target.  “Rock pile,” she panted.  “Grey dust everywhere.  Sound familiar?”

Ben could hear the humor in her voice and he chuckled despite himself.  “I know the place.  Are you hurt?”

Another swing of her saber.  “Not to speak of.  Are you?”

A lingering burn on his thigh throbbed. “I'll live.”

They paused to block and finish the next wave of troopers them until at last it was quiet aside from their panting breaths.  Finally, he allowed their connection to consume him and steal him away from the world.  Here. She was  _ here _ .  He could go to her...and…

Then what?  Would she still want him when he was flesh and blood at her feet?  Would she look at him with the same wonder when she saw the pile of bodies he’d left behind?  Could she hold him up when the darkness found him?  He stared down at his feet on the ground.  Dust clung to the blood and sweat on his boots.

The cutting sound of her saber extinguishing made him jump.  “Ben,” Rey sighed his name like it meant something.  Like  _ he _ meant something. 

He turned slowly, still unsure of what he would find, yet the look on her face resolved the doubts in his mind.  She was radiant, even surrounded by the din of battle.  She watched him with the same curious expression she had worn the first time he had ever seen her.  The green forest canopies of  _ Takodana  _ had been replaced by the ebony night of the sky above, and this time he was not chasing her.  They stood willingly, each seeking the other. He had never doubted that she was brave, she had it painted all over her face, but there was more; acceptance, longing, trust. 

She was everything. 

He reached for her without asking, hardly even seeing her as much as feeling her there.  It didn’t matter, she stepped into him and looped her arms around his neck. Ben hated that his gloves were on, and that he couldn’t feel her skin.  Rey’s fingers twisted in his hair, pulling him down, closer until they were a heartbeat apart.

He could not think of any words to say now that she was in his arms.  Her eyes were wild and shining with the blaster fire that surrounded her.  He shut his mind from doubt and reason, and quieted the thundering of his heart in his ears.  Before anything else managed to rip them apart, he closed the space between them and kissed her.

Months ago she would have shoved him away, perhaps even killed him for trying.  Not now.  She collapsed like soft clay under his hands and kissed him back.

A whimper fell through their lips, and he couldn’t tell if it was his or hers, but as she twined her arms around his neck, he decided he didn’t care.  Her lips parted as he deepened the kiss and he lost focus on everything, aside from her.

Deafening thunder clapped around them -  _ inside _ them - and he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were somewhere else. But he was kissing Rey, there wasn’t time to care.  Their embrace was messy and unguarded with months of longing and separation.  They were desperate for time, terrified to be torn apart and left alone.  For now she was here, between his hands, under his lips.  They were both covered in sweat, dust, and blood and the grit stuck to their skin.

When at last he opened his eyes, he leaned against her forehead.  A breeze whispered at their backs but it wasn’t until he saw her hair shift over her face that he paused. “Rey, you’re…”

Her brow furrowed.

“Here,” he gasped.  Emotion tugged hard at the back of his throat as he realized she was real between his hands.  Recognition dawned across her face and she stroked his hair with renewed wonder.

The Force had transported them somehow.  They had been drawn together across space to the exact median between where they’d been standing.  Wherever they were, it was far from battle. The fine dust lay undisturbed at their feet, save where they’d circled around each other.  The air was free of cannon fire and burning.  He pulled the gloves off his hands and smoothed Rey’s hair from her face.  

“How?” he asked before pulling her towards him into an embrace. He hid his face in her neck.  “How are we here now?  Together.  The Force has given us a gift.  Why?”

She took a moment to answer as they both enjoyed the solid feel of their bodies pressed close.  Eventually she pulled back so she could see this face.  Her fingers explored each scar and dimple with renewed fascination.  “Balance,” she murmured leaning in to kiss him again.  He let her lead this time, absorbing the heady feel of her hands on his face, guiding him the way she wanted.

Several minutes passed before she said, “Ben, you were right. About so many things.”

He couldn’t recall a single one.

Her hands continued to move over face and though his hair.  “I do need a teacher.  My parents were no one.  I  _ will _ be the one to turn.  It’s time to let old things die.”

His head shook between her hands.  “I didn’t mean…”

“The galaxy needs balance - between dark and light, the Jedi and the Sith.  Ben...”  A wide smile filled her face as she said his name again.  He closed his eyes at the sound of it.  “I know now.  I want to be with you.  I know we can bring peace and balance to the galaxy - together.”

Ben’s eyes opened as a new sense of calm fell over him.  His ears were still ringing from the dissonance of battle, but her words were clear as day.  A long dormant part of him was yawning wide open in his chest.  It was the part of him that knew a long time ago, a princess fell in love with a scoundrel despite all odds.  The same part of him that knew even though everything had gone to hell, there had been love all along.  At one point in time, his life had been full, where others’ had been empty.  He did not want that for Rey any longer.

_ Time to let the old things die. _

“I love you,” he said.  A nervous laugh slipped out and he bit down on his lip.  His voice was too loud and his breaths were too fast, but he couldn’t bring himself to care now that the words had fallen from his lips.

“I tried to fight it,” Ben sighed, shaking his head.  “All this time, I tried to fight all of it.  But I never could.

“I tried for so long to channel it into something useful to me - rage, hatred, power - but I couldn’t use it on you.  I wanted to hate you the moment we met.  You had my father’s ship in your pocket, my entire childhood at your fingertips, and you didn’t even know.  You were a buoyant light in the sea of darkness, and no matter what I did, I could never extinguish it.”

His hands shifted over her face, reverently skimming the tips of his bare fingers over her freckled cheek.

“You kept coming back to me.  The Force kept us together, and I didn’t understand why until I realized you were finally quieting the noise in my head.  When I started to accept that, I realized you had already saved me from whatever life Master Snoke had chained me to.  You brought me  _ balance _ , not light.  You gave me a reason.”

Tears shone in Rey’s eyes and she tugged on his tunic until his lips fell back to hers.

“I can’t explain all of it,” he said over her lips.  “I just know that I’m in love with you.”

“And the battle at our backs?” she asked breathlessly.

“The Order will lose.  I’ve seen to it.  Their tyranny must end.  You and I can return to my men and flank the Order to the Resistance’s front lines.  We can finish it.”

The end was so close he could feel the essence of it in his blood and taste it on his tongue.  Rey’s eyes darkened.  “The Resistance won’t be kind to you.  You’ll be arrested on sight, tried for war crimes.  I can’t control what happens to you.”

“Everything will be all right,” Ben said, sifting his fingers through the warm curtain of her hair.

“I won’t stand by and watch them drag you away,” she said through clenched teeth.

“I won’t struggle.”

Rey shook her head.  “ _ Stop it! _  I won’t let you go now that we...now that you–”

“Rey.”

He couldn’t hide the fondness in his voice.  Her conviction to keep him safe meant more to him now than ever.  She stopped to look up at him and her jaw bulged as she clenched it tight. 

“Cast out your feelings,” he said gently, then watched as she closed her eyes.  The Force rippled around them.  It was generous as it embraced them, but there was tension too. Their time alone must end soon, there was a battle to finish.  Ben reached for that vision of their future, the gift they had been given long ago.  It played behind his eyes, bright and colorful.

“Our future is there, can you see it?  It is clearer and stronger than ever.”

Her eyes opened slowly.  

“Hold onto it.  Let it guide you. Whatever happens in the hours after the war will happen, but our path remains true.” 

The fear on her face had vanished.  She reached up to touch his face and he leaned into her hand.  “I understand,” she said.  “And I know what to do.  I know where we can go.”

A thunderous rumble sounded in the distance as the battle became real and concrete once more.  They turned to watch a plume of dust and smoke rise over the moon’s arced horizon.

“We have to return,” he said, adrenaline already building within him. When he turned back, Rey was watching him.  “What is it?”

She smoothed her hands over his chest and the gesture lit his skin up under his clothes.  He never wanted it to end. Her voice was quiet as she said, “I’ve never loved anyone before. I don't know what it feels like.”  Her eyes were shining.  “I want to tell you.”

Ben smiled, despite everything that had happened, and everything they were running towards.   _ At last _ .  At last they had found each other.  “If we survive today, we’ll learn together.  You can tell me then.”  

They kissed quickly, and gloriously before he took one of her hands in his.  “My men are just over that ridge.  Can you run?”

“Yes.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Together in time for Valentine's day.
> 
> Thank you all for your support and reviews. It makes my life more fun! This reunion and climactic embrace was in my head from the beginning. Crazy to put it out there now... I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Thank you to my friend NoBaggage for her encouragement!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Happiness is only real when shared."_ \- Christopher McCandless

**Chapter 11 - Rey**

She took him to Ahch-To the moment the battle ended.

At last The First Order had fallen.  Their carnage littered the moon and in the sky above.  Ash and rubble fell through the clouds in molten chunks.  There was no time to celebrate, only to evacuate before a Star Destroyer crashed down and obliterated all that was left of The Resistance and the New Republic.

In the chaos of the aftermath, Rey dragged Ben to the  _ Falcon _ before anyone caught them.  He kept pace beside her, hand clasped tightly between her fingers. The hatch lowered as they approached and she whirled around to face him as she stepped onto it.

Like this, they were almost eye to eye.  She was surprised to see a smile on his face as he looked up at her panting and filthy from battle.  A new kind of excitement was building within her.  She felt new, reborn, giddy.  It seemed wrong to feel that way, mere moments after the fall of an empire, but the look on his face...  Her eyebrows drew together as she said, “You’re sure about this?  About all of it?  About...me?”

It had been hours since they’d last kissed.  She had feared for her life at least three times since then, readied herself to bid him farewell over the lingering thread of their bond.  She watched his lips carefully.

He didn’t kiss her as he stepped close, merely challenged her with his dark eyes and slow smile.  He had left the ugly armour of Kylo Ren on the battlefield for good this time.  Before her was only Ben Solo; strong, confident, handsome. “I told you that I loved you.  I’m sure.”

Despite everything they had been through, he was choosing her. 

He gestured up the ramp with his hand.  “Prepare for takeoff, Captain,” he said.

Rey bit back a smile, then did as she was bid, flipping switches and tapping buttons on her way.  As the hatch closed behind them, she wondered if Leia had seen them from the command tower; if the General had seen her son’s hand cradled in Rey’s.  Would she know?  Would she understand?

Had her friends watched her run away and steal the starship? Did they think she was a coward?

Ben’s hand pressed gently to her shoulder.  He looked so strange in this ship; too tall and too wide to fit in the cramped cockpit with all of the memories of his father.  He swallowed it all back and gestured towards the nav computer.  “Where to?”

She shook her head and pointed to the co-pilot’s chair.  “Type in these coordinates.”

His face clouded as he recognized the series of numbers, but he did as he was told.  Rey didn’t falter as she lifted them into the sky.  She told herself that her friends would find her, and that they would understand.

This was for balance, for  _ good _ .

It was for love.

They jumped to hyperspace as soon as they breached the parchment-thin atmosphere.   She and Ben parted to wash and tend to wounds.  They ate a hot meal in the gally and slept in soft beds.  In the morning, their new life would begin.

The shale islands of Ahch-To were just as she had left them.  The ground was sodden and slick with rain and even Ben looked skeptical as they landed the ship on the flattest pile of rubble.

She led him up the winding stone staircase to the cluster of dwellings on the cliff.  The little domed huts remained just as untouched and empty as when she had first arrived.  Luke’s remained closed, void of any warmth or life it once held.  She was not ready to open it yet, and she supposed Ben wasn’t either.  Without much discussion, they claimed the hut closest to the fire pit and filled it with two cots and soft bedding from the  _ Falcon _ .  They sat on the edges of their beds and Rey told him about the island - its creatures, caretakers, mysteries and wonders.  All the while, she tried to fight the weight of what had happened, and her choices along with it.

That night, Ben must have felt her shaking from across the hut. He appeared at the side of her cot in the darkness and lay his hand over her gently, trying his best so soothe the panic that had consumed her body. Eventually he cursed and climbed in beside her. He stretched his warm body along her side and wrapped her tightly in his arms. 

Rey clung to him, as she had never clung to anyone. “I'm s-sorry,” she chattered through her teeth. 

He kissed her forehead. “I know exactly what you feel. Battle is never easy, nor sacrifice. But you're safe here. With me.”

She nodded, even as she wondered if he believed his words as she did. 

His hand moved up and down her back until she had almost ceased her trembling.  When she was able, she turned in his arms and kissed him until they fell asleep.

After that, the days began to cycle, one after another, until slowly their routine formed.

There was food to gather, crops to tend to, and animals to mind.  They fashioned clothes to suit them on the rough terrain; made ponchos from tarps and sewed sleeves on shirts.  Ben’s black clothes faded to grey with each passing day and soon they were hard to recognize.  They meditated in the temple with the sun on their faces and dove into the icy cave waters to face their fears.

All around them was balance.

Soon, two cots had become one.  Two lives, once lived independently for survival, now orbited each other.  Slowly, Rey learned the pieces of Ben Solo. 

She watched his eyes, so focused and demanding. When the sun hit them, they were light like the moss on the hills, and in the low light of evening, they were inky black pools, swallowing her whole.  His brows would tighten when the darkness found him, as it tended to do.  Other times, his eyes would crease with the hint of an amused smile as he watched her. 

She got to know his hands, so steady and sure.  He levitated boulders with gracefully outstretched fingers, pulled up nets full of fish in his tight grip, and gently traced the curves of her face from forehead to chin.  When they crossed the hillsides day after day, he would reach for her when she stumbled.  Even as sheets of rain soaked through their clothes, his hand was warm like the sun.  Each time he caught her, it chipped away at her hard earned resolve.  For so long, she’d been able to rely on only herself.  Slowly, she let that part of her past fade away, and she allowed herself to rely on Ben Solo.

Rey discovered that she could make him laugh by merely being herself. The brash way she attacked the day seemed to be enough to set him off. She loved the sound of his laughter, echoing off the rocks and into the sky.  It was deep and joyful and she found that she would do just about anything to give him a reason to do it. His face, once smoothed with practiced indifference, broke into blissful lines and creases. Her heart ached with the thought that he had avoided joy for so long. 

She kissed his scar one night by the light of the fire.  With soft lips, she followed it from his brow to the hollow of his shoulder. The darkness rushed out of him like a deluge, filling their tiny hut with half a life of listless anger and sadness. He reached for her face to kiss her hungrily, to fill the void she created with new memories and lightness.

They made love in the mornings, while the hut was still warm from the fire and their bodies.  Through the threadbare curtains they could feel the misty dawn trying to break through, but they were lost in each other. She logged every drawn out, tender memory into her heart.  Every slip of his pale skin, every muscle, every touch, every moment.  Ben went boneless when she touched him, and she melted into his arms.  She wondered if he had always been this sweet under his mask? Each morning, memories from before drifted further and further away.  They were hungry for each other, and they cherished every moment of their solitude.

Afterwards, they would bask in the afterglow, drawing out the inevitable passage of time one heartbeat at a time.  Rey lost herself in the warmth of his arms as he whispered into her hair.  They would cast their minds out to the future together, hearts still beating between them.  Each day the visions grew stronger and more colorful.  Each day she dreaded the call a little more.

She feared, as he did, that this was their only chance to enjoy the bliss of being together. Soon they would leave, and face the angry world alone and without shelter. Had they had enough time? Would they ever? Rey supposed in a way, that was what love was.  

So she told him. 

More time passed, and they continued to tend to the land and the temple, the animals and the sea. Each day they traversed every outcrop on the island with soggy boots and cloaks rippling in the wind. When she lost a foodhold, she reached out for his hand.

Most days, as the sun began to set from its highest point, they would meditate in the temple. The wind swirled their hair around their faces but they were one with the Force and with each other. When the darkness would find him, he would disappear to the cave or the highest peak. He kept quiet until the rage left him, when he sought out her embrace and her touch. 

His skin was warm, lit with the fires of every star in the sky. She wished to be consumed by it and when he kissed her, she was. 

From time to time, they left the planet on the  _ Falcon _ for supplies and refueling. It was a luxury Luke had abandoned during his life here.  She fiddled with the ship when the weather was agreeable.  Most of the time she was too afraid to alter much.  Chewie would never forgive her.  Instead, she spread herself out on the bone-white hull of the ship and stared into the sky.

Rey made peace with her friends over comms and holos, and she wondered if they would ever share the same planet again.  She talked to Leia more than anyone.  Rey felt alive when she saw the joy on the general’s face as she told her of Ben and the life they shared.  Soon they would speak to each other - some day.  For now, Rey told her all that she could.  Peace was the very least she could offer her.

She wasn’t sure how many months had passed before they finally felt the call.  It broke through her meditation like a blaster to the chest and she nearly gasped at the feel of it.  A planet, vivid and green in the muted sunlight.  Children lost and scared, shining with powers unknown.  She and Ben faced a deep valley with grass rippling in the wind.  As always, their hands were linked.

Ben was watching her when her eyes flew open. 

“You saw it too?” He asked.

She nodded. 

“It’s time.”

There was fear in his eyes at the thought of leaving the island and the sanctuary they’d built for each other, but they had agreed in the beginning that it was temporary. Their cause called to them, and finally they knew where. 

The New Republic was still out there, waiting for them to appear.  Rey knew they couldn’t run forever, but perhaps they could make peace all the same. 

She reached across their folded legs to take his hands. “Are you ready?”

He didn’t answer with words. He kissed her hands and fingers, her wrists, then leaned close to kiss her slowly. 

She’d almost forgotten her question when he pulled away.  Almost.  “I go where you go,” he said, shading her eyes from the setting sun with his hand. 

“Yes,” Rey smiled, doing the same for him. “No longer alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys!! 
> 
> I started writing this fic on December 18th, the day we saw the film. It has been such a joy to share it with you and connect with all of you fellow Star Wars and "Reylo" fans. I appreciate the time you have given me and the encouragement you've shared through bookmarks, kudos, hits and comments. I am so grateful!
> 
> I had the idea for this chapter while listening to Princess Leia's theme on my very long commute. It seemed so pure and so lovely, I didn't want to shove it aside. Their future is going to be bright and beautiful and balanced. I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse of it.
> 
> I write fanfiction (as many do) to process and further enjoy some of my favorite works of art. I have completed this fic and now I feel complete too. I'll be back next week for one, final epilogue update. Looking forward to sharing it with you!
> 
> Final big thanks to my treasured friend NoBaggage for her pre-reading and emotional support. She encouraged me to post this that first day, and I'm so glad I did.


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They had time. Perhaps even a lifetime.

**Ben**

Ben couldn’t believe their luck; that their first stop on the path to balance in the galaxy would lead them to a planet so green and pure.  It was all Rey had ever wanted, and he got to experience it with her.

There would be darkness somewhere, he knew.  A rabid monster, a band of raiders, or Force witchery. For now though, there was warm sunlight, a sea of wavering grasslands and blue skies. 

They stood together on the lowered ramp of the  _ Falcon _ with nothing before them but rolling hills of green.  This planet, an outer rim grass planet called Yasnilia, had just enough data in the system to imply that The Republic had no presence on its surface.  From where they stood, The Force was pulling at them from all directions, beckoning them into the sunlight and urging them towards their future.  After everything they’d been through, it felt reckless to rush.  Perhaps they were a little hesitant to leave the shelter of their trusty starship and each other.

At his side, Rey was leaning against him admiring the view. She wore joy in many ways.  It clung to her, like a shimmering layer.  He could feel it humming around her as they stood together.  Joy radiated through her eyes and mouth with each smile.  He could sense it in the quiet, restrained way she spoke, as though the happiness would erupt from her if she didn’t keep it in.

Her lightness brushed against him like lapping waves on the shore, and he realized how ridiculously charmed he was.  The feeling was new, and welcome inside his chest.  It seemed foolish to be so blissfully happy when they stood at the edge of the unknown, yet he was.  They had no idea what they were about to face, and still he stood on the gangplank of his father’s ship, smiling like an idiot at this woman.

Lover, he supposed.  Companion.  Student.

Joy-filled eyes lifted to met his.  “No one will recognize you like that,” Rey teased.

“Like what?”

She pointed to his smiling mouth

He swiped playfully at her finger.  “That’s not a bad thing.”  It was the truth, and an unfortunate reminder of what lie ahead.  Kylo Ren was not welcome anywhere, smile or not.

Their robes flapped in the wind around them.  They had landed the  _ Falcon _ on the crest of a rolling hill.  Grasslands surrounded them on all sides, aside from a small stone city a half-day’s walk away.  They could see it from here, glistening in the noon-day sun.

“It’s nice without the rain,” Rey said, stretching her hand out of the shadows and into the sunlight.  She was right, months of near-constant rain had grown tiresome very quickly.  It was nice to have dry clothes for a change.

“In hindsight, I think we can agree that Ahch-To isn’t the best place to live permanently.”

Her hand fell back to her side and she smiled up at him.  “Perhaps not.”

“We’ll find a place,” he said, quietly.

She shrugged.  “Or not.”

Ben nodded, thoughtfully.  “Or not.  Although, this pile of junk isn’t going to last forever.”  He jabbed the hull above them with his fist.  It clanged disconcertingly and Rey scowled at him for his carelessness.  Behind the stern look, her eyes still sparkled.  Something was passing between them; a ribbon of hope at the thought of a future.  At  _ any _ future.  One that seemingly involved them together.  

He contemplated the odds on whether or not she would let him take her back inside for another few hours.  There were so many other things they could be doing rather than walking...

Seeming to sense the wandering path of his thoughts, Rey bent down to lift the packs at their feet.  “You’re hopelessly distracted already,” she scolded.  “We should get started if we want to arrive in town by nightfall.  Are you ready?”

Ben pushed the distracting thoughts aside and shouldered his own bag.  They had time.  Perhaps even a lifetime.  

After all, they were finally here.

_ Here _ .  The exact vision from their premonition.  He held out his hand and she laced her fingers through his.

“I’m ready.”

 

***

 

**Rey**

It felt good to have fresh grass under her feet again.  For so many months she had been trudging through sodden mud, stone and moss, she’d forgotten what it felt like.  She’d forgotten how much she loved the green; the sound, feel and  _ smell _ of it.

Ahch-To had a way of changing every preconceived thought about things like, “green” and “rain.”

The sun was still high in the sky over their heads, beating down with its unrelenting warmth.  Rey was content, even with the heat.  The change in weather was welcome.  After all, she’d spend most of her life in the sun.  It was easier to enjoy without the sand to deal with.

Before them, treecover was eminent.  They had another click or so to go before reaching the forest that surrounded the city.  She looked to her right, where Ben was setting the pace.  He lifted his long legs high and through the grasses.  The end of his nose was getting red.

He caught her eye and slowed, eyebrow raising curiously.  “Do you need to stop for a second?”

She bit down her smile.  “No.”

Now his brows lowered, crowding his dark eyes.  “Is everything okay?”

“You’ve got a sunburn,” she said, sweetly.

Ben brought his hand to his face and pressed his palm to his cheek and forehead.  “Probably,” he groaned.  “That scrap pile of a ship hardly has anything left in its medkit.”

Strangely the thought of Ben Solo with a sunburn gave her joy.  It meant he was free, it meant he was in the sunlight, and it meant he was with her.

“Why are you so happy?” he asked curiously, even as the corner of his mouth pulled up in the start of a smile.  He had the startings of a beard now.  Wiry, dark hair framed his lips and chin.  He looked older, and more handsome than ever.  

When she didn’t answer, he rolled his eyes and swung his pack over his shoulder. “We should stop anyway, you’re acting strange,” he sighed as he dug their flask out.  “Do you have sun sickness?”

She laughed.  “ _ No _ .  I just still can’t believe we’re here,” Rey said.

Ben looked up from where he was hunched over.  His nose wrinkled as he squinted against the sun.  He was so alarmingly boyish and human, and she didn't know what to do with herself.  She was unapologetically in love with him.

Rey stepped sideways, to cast her shadow over his face and block the sun.  He grinned at her in thanks and took a swig of water from the flask.  “Here?” he said.  “Our vision? I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

She dropped to her knees beside him and took the flask he offered her.  A droplet of water clung to his lower lip. They were both still panting.  Springy grass or not, it took a bit of effort to walk through.  Ben took a knee and watched quietly as she took a few sips.  

As they sat together, Rey lamented over all the past Jedi who had missed out on this - love, friendship, companionship,  _ attachment _ .  According to the Jedi texts, it had been the weakness of all intelligent species since the dawn of life.  That may have been true, but she also thought attachment was responsible for everything wonderful, too.  Life, creation, achievement, change.  

In the span of her young life, she had only been with Ben for a short time, yet she couldn’t imagine it any other way.  Rey liked being with him.  She liked being cared for by him.

When she handed him the flask she said, “I love you.”

His surprised smile was unguarded and creased with deep dimples on his pink cheeks.  “I know,” he teased, taking one last sip.

He leaned forward to kiss her with his lips still cool and damp from the water.  She could feel the warmth of his skin from the sun, warmer and more radiant than normal.

“I love you too,” he said, finally.  His eyes sparkled in the sunlight.

They stood up together, with hands clasped for support.  He kept one firmly in his grip as he gestured to the forest before them.  “I think we only have a couple hours left until we reach the settlement.”

“Let’s go,” Rey said, starting forward.  Ben trailed behind, hand held tightly between her fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry this is late. #life)
> 
> I had to do the thing.
> 
> I'm a sucker for epilogues. I can't help myself, especially when I can't QUITE let these guys go just yet. It offers nothing meaningful, and I beat myself up for being so silly...but hopefully you enjoyed the little fluff and glimpse of their future to come.
> 
> THIS is how I want the movies to end. Sunlight, an open future, and two hands clasped together.
> 
> Thank you again for all of your support and for being here through the last six weeks. It was fun to post through the excitement of the movie release and I can't wait to write more for these two dorks in the future!


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